Going Under
by Sixth Child
Summary: Childhood events and neglection pushes one teenage over the edge, to the path of death and betrayal. His only love is for his brother... [AU, horror, yaoi, KouKou, other stuff]
1. Part I

**::Going Under::**

By: Sixth Child

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon, and the plot is somewhat based off the book _The Voice of the Night _by: Dean Koontz. The title is taken from the song _Going Under _by: Evanescence. 

Rating: R

Pairings: Kouji/Kouichi

Warnings: AU, OOC-ness, horror, yaoi, blood, murder, character death, lossa stuff.

Notes: This takes place when Kouji and Kouichi are 16 years old. The digital world ever existed, this is clearly alternate universe. 

Flames will be fed to Roy, and I love reviews.

----

"Have you ever killed anything?" Kouichi asked, a simple question, yet so complicated. 

"What do you mean?" Kouji responded, confused.

"I mean, have you ever killed?" 

"What kind of question is that? Oh yeah, every Friday night I go out for pizza, followed up with a murder or two."

"It doesn't have to be people, just have you ever killed _anything?"_ Kouichi looked at his twin brother with a neutral look on his face; Kouji couldn't tell what exactly he was getting at.

The brothers were in their single room that they were forced to share, sitting on the bottom bunk of the bunk bed that stood in the left side of the small room.

"Sure, everyone kills things. Bugs, I guess. I once ran over a chipmunk with my bike on accident." Kouji responded to the strange question.

"Did it crunch?" Kouichi asked with a slight sparkle in his dark eyes.

"Why does it matter?" 

"It would've been a real popper." Kouichi grinned.

"Your weird sometimes, Kouichi." 

Kouichi sighed, "Aren't we all?" He stretched out on the small bad, which belonged to Kouji, and folded his arms behind his head. Kouji did the same, but rested his head on his twin's shoulder, his dark hair falling onto Kouichi's chest. 

"Ever killed anything bigger than a chipmunk?" Kouichi pressed on.

"Let's talk about something else." Kouji stated simply, trying not to make anything big of the short yet strange conversation.

"Alright." Kouichi responded, then sat up, causing Kouji to do the same.

Kouichi sighed again, "Summer's so boring, and there's nothing to do."

"Would you prefer to have school?"

"No, but it seems like the school year is more eventful than the summer."

It was the end of June, meaning the twins have already endured a month of sheer boredom. 

Kouichi stared at the far wall for a minute, then turned to his brother and put his hand to his twin's cheek. Kouichi and Kouji stared into each other's eyes for moment, their faces being reflected in the other's blue gaze. Then suddenly Kouichi leaned forward and with his other hand peeled off Kouji's striped bandana. He removed his hand from his brother's face and untied his ponytail, letting the waist-long dark hair fall to Kouji's shoulders.

Kouji gasped slightly as Kouichi ran his think fingers through Kouji's hair, the paleness of his finger's corresponding with Kouji's dark locks. "You're so beautiful." Kouichi said, half whispering, as if he was telling his twin some dark secret.

"We're twins, you look like me." Kouji responded simply.

"No, I don't. I could never be as beautiful as you." Kouichi smiled. 

"But you're beautiful too." Kouji said, a blush forming across his pale features.

Kouichi looked like he was deciding on something, staring into the same eyes as he, pondering silently. After a moment, he rose from the small bed and headed for the door. "It's almost time for dinner."

----

Kouji tried to keep up with his brother's quick pace as they walked through a small park outside their apartment building. It wasn't much of a park, really, more like a few benches, some trees, and a sidewalk. 

"Kouichi…wait." Kouji said weakly, practically jogging next to his brother. 

"I can't fucking stand it. How can you let those people do that to you?" Kouichi said through clenched teeth. Kouji didn't respond, he really didn't know what to say. He could remember the events that happened mere minutes ago clearly. The yelling, the hitting, the look in Kouichi's eyes as Kouji fell to the floor. His father smiling cruelly as he heard Kouji's whimpers. Kouichi dragging Kouji out of the apartment with that same look in his eyes, like he was ready to kill. 

"I'm not going back there." Kouichi said. "Those people can't be related to us. I won't believe it." He suddenly stopped, turning to a nearby bench and sitting down. Kouji followed, subconsciously rubbing the pink on his left cheek. 

Kouichi turned to his twin, the look of hatred and anger suddenly gone, replaced by one of concern and love. "How's your face?" He asked softly, a completely different tone then the one he used earlier. Kouichi touched the small bump on Kouji's face, causing him to wince slightly. 

"I'm okay, it's just a little bump…" Kouji said, looking away from his brother's gaze. Sweat trickled down his face, caused by the intense summer sun, and the fact that the twins were forced to wear long sleeves and pants, even in the greatest of heat. 

"I'm never going to let them hurt you again…' Kouichi said, suddenly pulling Kouji into a warm embrace. Kouji wrapped his arms around his brother and closed his eyes contently. Kouichi narrowed his dark eyes in anger, remembering everything that happened. Not just that day, but also many days before that, even years. Kouichi was strong, a result of often getting into fights at school. Most of them a result of bullies picking fun at his brother, who was not even close to being as well-built as Kouichi. Kouji was much more thin and fragile, even somewhat feminine looking, making him an easy target, not only for bullies, but for their parents also.

But the twins' home life wasn't always this way, there was once a time when they lived in a nice big house, by the ocean. Kouji and Kouichi grew up there with their parents, each other, and their sister, Risa, who was 5 years older than them. It was like one of those perfect families that you would see on television, everyone always smiling, cheerful, a loving family. Mr. And Mrs. Minamoto loved their children dearly, always taking them on vacations, going to their school events happily… Everything was perfect. Maybe too perfect.

Six years ago, when the twins were only ten years old, their older sister Risa was moved up two grades, meaning she was a senior at the age of fifteen. When it was time for her to go to college, she was accepted at Yale. She was a straight-A student, well liked, and popular. Her parents loved her, as did her younger brothers. As everything was perfect, she caved under the pressure, and killed herself. It was a shock to not only her family, but her friends and teachers also. Mr. And Mrs. Minamoto were in shock for months, having to stay in the hospital. Kouji and Kouichi had foster parents until the day they were released from the hospital. They sold the house that was full of so many memories, and bought a small apartment across town. 

Mr. and Mrs. Minamoto were so agonized that they unbelievably adopted another daughter, who was the same age as the twins at the time, named Izumi. She was far different than their loving sister Risa, she was horribly spoiled, snobby, and everything else that Risa was not. Maybe somehow the parents blamed the twins; maybe that's why they did horrible things to them.

Kouji's stomach growled, causing him to remember that they had left without any dinner. He blushed and looked away. 

"Dinner's on me." Kouichi smiled, knowing that his wallet was thicker than his brother's, as he was the one with the job. 

Kouji chose a small soup-and-salad restaurant on the corner of 1st and Helen. He had a bowl of chicken wild rice soup and a ham sandwich, as Kouichi only had a turkey sandwich. Kouichi broke the comfortable silence, "I swear, one day we're going to run away from this place. To a place like we lived before… Paradise." Kouji frowned at the thought. 'Is there really a place of Paradise? Through all this hurt…'

But the look on Kouichi's face wasn't dreamy or wishful, it was one of seriousness. Kouji blinked and gave his twin a casual smile, deciding not to press on the subject.

On the way home, the twins saw a dead raccoon on the side of the road.

"Oh, that's so nasty." Kouji said, covering his mouth.

That gleam was back in Kouichi's eyes. "I killed a raccoon once." He said, his expression remaining serious.

"No you didn't." Kouji responded, not one once of belief in his voice.

"Yes I did. I'm serious."

"Why?"

"I was bored."

"That's not much of a reason."

"Yes it is, people do a lot of things when they're bored."

"They don't kill things."

"Who knows?"

"How'd you kill it? Did you just chop off its head, or feed it a poisoned fish, or what? I suppose you're gonna say that you chopped it up and fed it to Izumi for lunch."

"Not a bad idea, but no. I shot it with dad's gun."

"He doesn't have a gun."

"He keeps it in the top drawer of the nightstand next to their bed."

Kouji decided to let Kouichi have his fun, trying to scare him or gross him out, whatever he was trying to do.

"First I shot it in the leg, just to stop it. Then in the chest, I think that's what killed it, but I shot it in the head just to make sure it was dead."

"What a story."

"It's true."

Kouji grinned. "You're only trying to scare me."

"Whatever you say." Kouichi gave up.

It was dusk when the pair got home; their parents and Izumi were watching TV in the living room. Kouji and Kouichi walked in without notice, and headed for their room. Kouji walked into their bathroom and stripped to his boxers, as Kouichi was doing the same in their room. When Kouji finished in the bathroom, Kouichi was already in the top bunk. Kouji settled into his own bed, covering himself with blankets to overpower the air conditioning. 

He managed to produce a "'Night." And his twin returned it. 

Kouji couldn't help but wondering—Had Kouichi been serious about the raccoon?


	2. Part II

**::Going Under::**

By: Sixth Child

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or anything else mentioned in this fiction, and the plot is somewhat based off the book _The Voice of the Night _by: Dean Koontz. The title is taken from the song _Going Under _by: Evanescence. 

Rating: R

Pairings: Kouji/Kouichi

Warnings: AU, OOC-ness, horror, yaoi, blood, murder, character death, lossa stuff.

Notes: This takes place when Kouji and Kouichi are 16 years old. The digital world ever existed, this is clearly alternate universe.

Bahh!! I lost my Kouichi bracelet!! T_T Well, sorry this chapter came out so late, I've been kinda _busy._ Note: Don't mind when the scenes change and the sections are kinda short. It's supposed to be that way. Well, on with the show!

Flames will be fed to Roy, and please review, and I'll love yoo!

---

Kouji walked briskly into the small brick building, dubbed the library. He was happy to rid himself from the intense heat of the afternoon sun, as it was shining down mercilessly upon him through his twenty-minute walk to the paper-filled facility. Taking a brief look around, he dropped the four books he had checked out onto the return desk. 

Kouji walked into the most familiar part of the library, which was the area designated for people to sit in comfortable arm chars and happily read they're books. The area was lighted by the bright sun, which shone through the many clean windows. He chose the seat at the very end, a large red chair that was over-stuffed and easily the comfiest. The only reason this chair wasn't already occupied was because he was the only one in that part of the building.

After a few minutes spent tapping his fingers along the wooden table beside him, Kouji rose briefly and walked to the closest section to him, which was the music section, filled with biographies of the most popular artist and books filled with musical scores of classical and rock. He randomly chose a book entitled "The Beatles Live!" from the shelf and walked back to his chosen seat.

 A few more minutes passed, and Kouji was enjoying the many pictures in the large book, when he heard a familiar voice. 

"Hey," Kouichi said nonchalantly. He took the seat beside his brother, which was a blue chair with only one arm. Kouji looked up from his piece of literature to his brother, and was surprised to see him wearing a t-shirt, as they rarely are ever seen on either of the twins. Kouji also noticed that Kouichi was wearing an all-too familiar bracelet, which now barely fit around his wrist. Kouji remembered how when they were small, they had each gotten one from their mother for their sixth birthday. The bracelets were exactly the same, a thin silver band with clear beads on either open end to easily adjust the size. Kouji wore his own, as always, on his left wrist, but was surprised to see his brother wearing his.

Kouichi noticed his twins gaze on his wrist and decided to speak up. "We got some new books in this morning." He said, knowing that Kouji would be interested. 

"Okay." Replied Kouji, following his brother as they walked moderately through the library. He was glad that Kouichi worked there, that way he could get the newest releases without having to put his name on the waiting list months in advance. Another plus was that he could come and visit his brother when ever he wanted to, without Kouichi's boss telling him to get back to work or anything, they could talk quietly while Kouichi shelved books.

When they reached the stocks room, Kouichi went over to a small box and pulled out three rectangles. A Dean Koontz novel and two mangas. Kouji thanked his briefly as he took the books from his brother. "I'm surprised to see you wearing that again." Kouji said, gesturing to the silver band around his twin's wrist.

"Yeah…" Kouichi toyed with the bracelet, "I guess I misplaced it before." He smiled as he saw the same metal band around Kouji's wrist, were it has always been. 

After they checked out the chosen books, the twins headed back to the small apartment building alone the sidewalk that was flooded with leaves and small sticks from nearby trees. A few minutes' walk brought them back to the shady building, just longing to entangle unsuspecting prey in its hold of pain and anguish. 

-----

"I told you not to go out without fucking telling me first damn it!!" A fist collided with an already bruised face, sending Kouji to the carpeted floor. His mother was whimpering helplessly in the kitchen as his father has his fist fun with him. Another blow was delivered to his head, causing his vision to go temporarily black. 

Then he heard his brother's angry voice, followed by a yell from his father. Kouji just lay on the stained carpet, expecting demons to come and take him away in his dark gaze. Suddenly he felt his body being lifted by strong arms, and he was being carried. Kouji could feel the warmth of his bed as he was set down upon it and a slam of a door, more muffled yells, then the sound of a lock being clicked. 

Banging could be heard on the wooden door for a moment, but then it ceased, defeated. Kouji blinked and his vision wasn't dark anymore, he could see again. A pair of arms suddenly enveloped him, and he leaned back so he was leaning against the wall. Kouji wrapped his own arms around his brother, and noticed he was shaking.

"Damned fucking bastards. I'll fucking kill them all, and let their bloody corpses rot forever in this pit of Hell. Then they'll know what it's like…." Kouichi's voice was laced with hatred. 

Kouji didn't know how to respond to his brother's sudden anger, so he just stayed quiet. Kouichi shifted slightly in their embrace, so that Kouji was leaning into him. Kouji shut his eyes contently; glad to be away from the yelling and pain, escaping into his brothers welcoming arms….

Sleep soon followed Kouji, and nightmares of the past soon were revealed to the eyes of the dreamer. 

Pain… it's hard to remember happy times, laughter, smiles… How long has it been since I've seen my mother smile? I wish I could rid her of the tears that refused to cease. 

---

Kouji was sitting on his bed, indulging himself in the Dean Koontz novel he checked out; _One Door Away From Heaven._ He was already on the fifth chapter, as he had been reading for the last hour. It was a slightly confusing book; the point of views change with every chapter, which makes it hard to follow.

Kouichi walked into the room that he and his brother shared, closing the door behind him. He walked to Kouji's bed and sat down next to him, just as Kouji turned the next page. Kouichi peeked at the novel in his twin's hands, and blinked a few times, before pulling it out of Kouji's grasp and taking it for himself. He looked at it blankly for a moment, then turned to the other boy.

"Do you know what door is one away from Heaven?" Kouichi asked, no feeling detected in his voice.

Kouji blinked. "Hell?"

"Death. You have to die to go to Heaven." Kouichi handed the book back to Kouji.

"Why are you so... fascinated with death?" Kouji asked, searching for the right term to use for his brother's 'fascination.'

Kouichi was quick to respond. "Because it's something that humans don't know, can never experience until it's too late to print it in papers and books."

"I guess so…"

"We all have our hobbies, right?"

"Yeah."

"So mine is death. It's that simple." Kouichi paused. "Are you afraid of death?"

"Sure, everyone is."

"I'm not."

Kouji decided not to respond to that statement. 

"You shouldn't fear something that's so unknown. Who knows, maybe when you die you go to a place that's better than where you are right now. "

A sudden emptiness erupted in Kouji's eyes, and he looked away from his brother's intense gaze.

Kouichi gasped. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything." He also looked away uncomfortably. 

Kouji looked back. "I know."


End file.
